Choose your own retweet adventure

Do you want more retweets? Do you want to understand how the simple act of typing 140 characters of less can spur someone to expend all that effort in pressing a button to publicise your views? Do you want to game Twitter to get more followers and otherwise live a happy fulfilling life, or do you simply sit outside of it all and want to see what the fuss is all about?

This goes all the way to the top

With the furore over tabloid phone hacking dying down, it’s worth reminding ourselves that while the parliamentary hearing of Rupert Murdoch and his son James got an old man and his patsy son before MPs, there is someone who doesn’t just listen in to the phonecalls of celebrities and the ‘newsworthy’, but everyone.

That Old Man

The police officer was sat beside me, “Just tell me what happened and we’ll do the rest”, he pulled out his notebook, glancing around for any potential witnesses. With the ice-pack the paramedics had left with me pressed to my swollen face I repeated my story.

The Noble Art – Part 1

INT. STUDIO – DAY

A dapper gentleman with greying hair, the HOST, addresses the camera directly. Behind him is a stylised sports graphic, part of a studio set.

HOST – We have in the studio with us today three faces that you might not recognise, but once the Olympics kick off they’ll make David Beckham, Ronnie O’Sullivan and Paula Radcliffe seem like Carlton Palmer, Willie Thorne and Fatima Whitbread, it’s the Great British thumb wrestling team.

Tweet Archive Part 1 – 2010

What do you mean you haven’t been following me on Twitter? What are you, some kind of chump? You chump. Well, ssssh, don’t tell anyone, just fix it now and we can pretend this unpleasantness never happened.

Bigger Than Jesus?

In 1966 John Lennon commented that The Beatles had become more popular than Jesus, a comment that caused a storm of controversy. Even Jesus himself pitched in, giving Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band a semi-scathing 3-star review in his parish newsletter, claiming it was ‘overblown pomp from jumped up twerps’.

Now with the miracle of modern internetting we can find out who or what today can claim the same and maybe get vicars all over the land foaming over their teacups.

Didn’t He Do Well…?

Everybody loves Bruce Forsyth don’t they? Of course they do, especially you, you love him, look at his face, go on look at it, look at it now.

Unleash the Cobrascope

It was a different world on the other side of the glass. Well, not glass, but a toughened transparent polymer, but the term fitted just as well as any, expect maybe ‘chingbalungs’, which wouldn’t have fitted at all.